Robin Lopez will make $12.6 million this year. Brook Lopez will make nearly $19.7 million in 2015-16. These guys don’t really need roommates to help split up the rent.
Still, as twin brothers with similar interests (if dissimilar games) that both work out of the city of New York, it doesn’t seem that farfetched that the Knicks starting center (Robin) and the Brooklyn Nets’ pivotman (Brook) would want to find a place of their own to bunk up. All they’d have to do is leave a sock on the bedroom door, a note on the fridge, and a texted warning for whenever Kristaps Porzingis wants to come over to play video games and get away from his parents at home.
Alas, stupid cats. From the New York Post:
“ […] the 27-year-olds, who are identical save for Robin’s Sideshow Bob hairdo, ultimately decided against rooming together. (Robin landed in Westchester, near the Knicks’ practice facility.)
“We thought about it,” Brook tells The Post. “But the cats really wouldn’t get along. They just wouldn’t allow it.”
“Brook’s cat is very two-faced,” Robin tells The Post. “Everybody loves Brook’s cat. To everybody’s face, he’s such a nice cat. And it may sound like I’m joking, but I am dead serious. He acts like a lazy, sweet cat when everybody is looking. But when their heads turn, he’ll try to chase after [my cat] Edward. The second I lay eyes on him, he’ll act like, ‘I’m a cherub. I’m innocent.’ I’m not buying it.”
For reference, this is Brook’s cat Poupin:
And this is Robin’s cat, Prince Edward Zephyr:
And, according to the invaluable NBA CATWATCH Twitter account (WHICH I SWEAR IS NOT RUN BY ME), this feud has gone on for over two years, even when the cats were half a country away and Robin was playing in New Orleans:
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Cats can be two-faced. They can snuggle with your guests, leave them feeling as if they’re friends, and as soon as the humans leave the room the same cat can turn heel and absolutely thrash a fellow feline with a claw to the nose I’m looking at you Jake I know what you do when I’m gone.
That said, in a city that sometimes demands you spend at least half your income on lodging, wouldn’t it behoove the two (Poupin and Prince Edward Zephyr, not Brook and Robin) to make nice and get along? There are a million places to hide in a shared millionaire’s bachelor pad, whether it be under the bed or in a Naturebox delivery case. This can work.
It’s understandable that Brook (at nearly 20 points per game and 8.4 rebounds for the 4-13 Nets) and Robin (7.4 and 6.2 for the 8-10 Knicks) would want to have separate places to live, but let’s not blame this on the cats, OK? Really, when Robin brings up the Eddie Haskell nature of Poupin, who is he really talking about? Is this truly just a reference to the ways of his twin brother?
Only Prince Edward Zephyr truly knows. And he’s not talking. He doesn’t have to. He’s a cat.
Brook’s Nets take on Robin’s Knicks on Thursday at Madison Square Garden. Frankly, I’d rather watch Poupin and Prince Edward Zephyr go at it.